One of my best friends from my work lost her older brother to Covid this past weekend. He had a positive test 10 days prior. He felt bad, but never felt “worse”. He was healthy. He was 53. And he’s gone.
This isn’t the first Covid related death that has happened first hand to someone I know...it’s getting increasingly more like a morbid six degrees of separation situation (like the Kevin Bacon game) that any 6 people has known someone who has had Covid and ended up with lifelong disabilities if they survived at all. My neighbor’s best friend’s husband passed away from Covid. My husband’s (former now) secretary has been left permanently blind from complications of Covid amoung a host of other things left damaged by this virus. My best friend’s brother, our beloved doctor. Both gone. I bet if I start asking the number rises.
The truth from the front lines is that the varriants are here, and they are more deadly than the first. Please everyone, don’t let your guard down even if vaccinated. These patients, they are sicker than ever. And younger than ever, too.
It’s so hard to watch anyone you love grieve over something so sudden. It seems like it’s even more devastating because we have been there for a year now working shift after shift, submitting our blood for study samples, getting the vaccine first to prove it’s safe, working in the chaos and hell fighting this damn thing. It feels so personal.
I was talking to another one of our close friends tonight and we were all checking on each other and trying to decide something to do. It’s so hard to be in a place where there’s nothing good to say, nothing you can do seems sufficient enough to covey the heartache we share with her. I know we talk a lot in these spaces as just abiding with them, holding space for them, grieving silently along with them and fervently praying (if that’s your thing. It’s definitely mine.)
But sometimes we can get complacent...not knowing what to do so instead we do nothing or that so much time has passed it seems irrelevant now, or that’s it’s so hard for any number of reasons. I know I have been that way about things before, for way less important things.
They need food, we know our girl hasn’t been eating. I remember when my dad passed, it was so nice to have food everyone could just emotionally stuff ourselves in between all the other million things that need to be done when a person dies...it’s SO much. Being fed is a basic human comfort, and having someone bring me food (not that it happens often!!) brings me so much warmth and comfort.
I picked one of her favorites...one I know she won’t be able to resist eating...and it’s healthy and sustaining and home cooked and comforting af. I had to give her a heads up to see when a good time would be to have the meal delivered, and she was thanking me, and I said “it’s the least we could do”.
It’s so easy now to do things like send someone a warm blanket or a hot meal to their door. Or type a quick text. Or answer that email. Or answer the phone. Those are the least things we can do during this ongoing pandemic that just won’t quit.
Imagine if everyone, everyday, did just a little more than “least”. Just imagine.
***I also want to add a little footnote here, because I didn’t know where to fit it above. My friend that lost her brother is single and childless. My other friend I mentioned above is married and childless by choice. When shit hits the fan, as long as you have some strong friends around you, you will be ok. Whether you have kids or not. These girls to me are my extended family, and we protect and care for each other. Having children or not doesn’t matter...and it shouldn’t.
