Thursday, April 12, 2018
30 years
This week marks 30 years that I have had my period. That seems so crazy to me. It has definitely been a love/hate relationship...loving when it came all those years I didn’t want to be pregnant, hating every time it came when I did. Here I am, waiting on it again, so I can once again get blood work done. Only this time to see if it is indeed the finality of my “fertility”. I have a lot of emotions about this. The discussion with my doctor was tough, and I was so sad, and so grateful he knows me well enough to finish all my teary sentences. I am also working with a hormone specialist to find the easiest way to close the door on this chapter on my life. I hope someday soon this doesn’t feel so sad. But right now sad is all I’ve got.
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sorry this is so hard. It’s challenging to contemplate the end of reproductive life. I’ve been thinking about it too and it’s just a hard thing to wrap my head around. There must be a positive perspective it’s just not in sight.
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that you remember which month you got your period! I just know that I got it at age 11.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that it is so hard. It is especially hard if you are not ready for the end of something.
I'm so sorry this is all so hard, closing doors is so difficult. And wow, I bet I could go back in my diaries in the back of my closet to find when I got my period, but I barely even remember how old I was (12? I think I was 12). All I remember is that my mom baked me a cake. A "January Cake." Oh damn, look at that -- it was January! Just don't know what year.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you have a super understanding hormone specialist, and that you can be understood while you're going through all this testing. Bloodwork can bring up a lot of feels and trauma from infertility treatments, so I hope you get the answers you seek without too much more! Sending you love.