Happy Friday Updates

So I realize that I tend to only blog much when I am down, in a negative headspace, even if it’s just momentarily. I have always been like this...all of my best writing in high school came during my most morose times. I just find it really hard to write when I am happy, or even neutral. All or nothing, that’s me. I’m either all in or I’m not in at all. Trying to spout more positivity in hopes that I end up internalizing it more, I am going to do a little update-y post of all the good things in my life right now.

*Toddler Boy is turning 5 on Sunday, which is so crazy to me. His nickname is Smoosh (rhymes with   tush), so I guess I will call him that here now, since he’s not a toddler anymore. I took the day off work so we are going to have his first ever friend party, since it’s the first time he’s been in school with his own friends. We have about 5 kids coming, which is plenty! I wanted to get a bounce house but the weather is going to be just slightly too cold to pull that off. He asked for a piñata, so we are doing that. I have a Pin the tail on the Donkey game, mini marshmallows for catching marshmallows in your mouth game, some yummy snacks like pretzels and cheese balls, a sponge bob cake, and a craft. I’m actually excited about this because I got these cool dot paint markers and some 8x10 canvases the kids are going to paint. We just tested out the paint markers and they work well. After the kids leave, we are having a family party. My best friend and her family are coming over since they are the Godparents, and my mom will be here. I’m making a big Mexican meal of tacos and Spanish rice. It’s going to be a long and busy day celebrating the little boy I hoped and prayed and waited 8 years for.

*I have spent some solo time with each of my older kids recently. This is not always easy to do, so I try and make it a priority because it’s so important to me. They are changing so fast, and it helps me get to know who each of them are right now. Last night was my son’s turn. He turned 13 a month ago, and you would think it would be a weird age but I refuse to let it. I laugh because he still is the same as he was as a baby when out shopping...the first 20 minutes are fine and then he’s just done with it. He’s definitely going through a growth spurt because he just passed me in height and the amount of food he is able to eat at one time is remarkable.

*My dog got really ill a couple weeks ago, but luckily enough we were able to get to the cause (Addison’s disease) and it’s totally treatable and inexpensive to deal with. She’s already back to her old self, which is a huge relief because I don’t think I could have dealt with loss again so soon.

*Good in the world outweighs the bad. If you google Vernon Davis (the Washington Redskins tight end) you will find a recent article about him gifting Super bowl tickets to a grieving family. TMZ.com has the full article with pictures, but this is a family from our community who lost their 18 year old son New Year’s Day to Glioblastoma (What John McCain and Beau Biden had). The boy was a classmate of my oldest daughter, the sister a classmate of my younger daughter, and his long-time girlfriend is one of my pre-K son’s student teachers. You hear about these kind of good deeds all the time, but none have ever reached this close to home and it just gives me so much hope.

*I continue to be so thankful for my work peeps. Truly, I am so glad that I can show up for work and have people that get me and accept me and make it so much easier to leave my house and go to work, and to do an, at times, difficult job. These people lift me up in so many ways and I just don’t know what I would do without all of them. We are all so different and lead very different lives, but these people are part of my tribe. We are currently planning a post-holidays get together to celebrate our coworkers Master’s degree (she graduated just before Christmas and it was too crazy to try and do something then.)

*We have been putting together a yearbook page to celebrate my teen’s impending graduation this year so we have been sorting through a ton of pictures, old and new. It’s amazing, all the photos I am just discovering that other people have had on their phones that I have never seen. And so bittersweet to look through all the old baby pictures and go back in time. I still have to write a blurb to go on our page, and I am having a hard time finding the right words. How do you put into words in a short and concise sentence or two exactly what this child means to me (us) not only being the kid that made me a mom for the first time, but also will be the first kid I have to let go out in to the world??? Seems impossible almost.

*Quiet-ish nights spent on the couch watching TV with my husband, where we can talk and catch up and truly just relax, in my pjs, just as is. I’m so damn thankful to have my person, even when we fight, that I can feel so secure with, that I can be myself no matter what. Especially as I hear other stories about people out about in the dating world, I just truly can’t imagine having to be out there doing that. I am so glad that’s not me. I have no desire for that life. I would much rather my time not be my time and to have this life than any other, and day of the week.

*A couple weekends ago I heard my oldest son as his oldest sister to hang out one weekend night, and suddenly all 3 of the older kids were out hanging out together. They came in the door laughing and wouldn’t share their inside jokes. My heart almost exploded, I can’t even tell you how happy that made me. They may fight like crazy at home, but out in the world they are each other’s fiercest protectors and best buddies. And yesterday I happened to be putting some clean clothes in my oldest’s room, and saw a new frame and collage on her way, and most of the pictures are her and her siblings, all the selfies they have taken together. And somehow all of that made me realize that when they do finally go out in to the world, that they are all going to be just fine.