where it gets twisty-er...

 As if all of the other things in alllll of this aren’t weird enough, I go and do what I do best...make it weirder. That’s my specialty, apparently.

Oooof. Ok. Putting my husband back in touch with his best friend/former (and again to be current?) lover, I also had a long heart to heart with his best friend. And it gave me a ton of insight. And how right now they both really, really need each other.

Over the last several months I have developed an incredibly close friendship with a woman and it has recently become a very strong attraction to each other on both our parts, not by force or anything, just incredibly naturally. We have not acted on anything, merely acknowledged to each other that this is feeling like something more and we are trying to work through that. I’m aware how I’ll advised this is, completely. My eyes are wide open here. But when the heart starts getting involved things start getting really complicated and that is something her and I need to sort out, for everyone’s sakes. The twisty-est part of all of this is that she is my husbands ex-wife.

I KNOW.

But. He created this crazy entanglement of people and circumstances by lying his whole life to everyone around him. The past was always going to catch up with him. We all had to make connections to put all the pieces together. In some ways it all feels like we were pawns in his sadistic game of chess. The dark angry part of me feels that way.

But the connections that happened between all of us in different ways are all authentic, based on a mutual shared past and the blurring of the lines long ago. No one in this situation is holding grudges or acting out of revenge or hate...we are all too old for that.

My husband is all wrapped up in his therapy and reconnecting with his best friend...I’m sort of over here holding all the pieces together. Right now I feel like the glue.

It’s messy and twisted and weird for sure. But this is my life, and I have to find a way through all of this mess, no matter how hard or uncomfortable it may be.

Thank you for everyone following along and leaving these amazing comments. I appreciate the company, support, and love on this crazy ride and wish nothing but the absolute best for all of you. Hopefully you feel the love, because I sure do.