Christmas our way

 Mel wrote a post about being a non-Christmas-celebrating  person wanting to know about Christmas traditions. I am just as fascinated with how others celebrate their own holiday traditions so I thought I’d write about our Christmas and how it looks today.

We get a real tree every year…I am adamant about this. We usually go the day after thanksgiving every year in search of the perfect tree…a big fall Douglas Fir. This years tree isn’t as big as years past, but it was the biggest we found.

I usually start holiday shopping in October or November, when I gather things in my virtual carts and wait for a lower price and then curate the list based on everyone’s wish lists. We believe in Santa over here, so I always try and find things not on a wish list that the kids don’t know about and would love. This years scores were a cropped fuzzy Zara jacket (my second daughter and I love high end goods but only when found thrifting or on a resale website) an Xbox game, special toys and games for the little guys, and a new guitar for my husband. Other than the kids, the only other people we shopped for were our moms, one neighbor, and my beauties and I always exchange. My siblings and I and all the kids stopped exchanging long ago because it’s just too much, and not the sole reason for the season anyway.

This year Christmas Eve was quiet, unlike years past when I’ve hosted large family gatherings and make all the food. A tradition we have had since lunch on Christmas Eve was a huge meal was to order us a lunch meat and deli trays from the grocery store and have that for dinner, so we swapped that out this year for our low key lunch with just our family instead. We finished some holiday baking (just cookies this year, chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin) Christmas Eve I spend wrapping alll the things after the kids were in bed, I just can’t seem to do this any sooner even if I had time. I finished and got to bed by about 1am.

Christmas morning the kids woke us up bright and early, and within an hour we were opening gifts. It starts out with the stockings (candy and a few smaller items, like Uno and lotions for the girls, gift card for my oldest son) and then everyone gets a gift to open and then it’s a free for all basically. I love giving gifts but i don’t love getting them, ever, so it’s weird for me. My husband restored my dads ancient ukuleles I rescued from my parents basement,so I can display them…which is perfect. I also picked out a new luggage set I found for a steal in my favorite color (purple) and other than a few small gifts from the kids and my godmother and our moms that was it. Which suits me just fine. I also gifted my mom some designer duds for tax season when she works, all at resale prices. Top score there was a wool Burberry blazer. 

Christmas morning after presents we always have a huge breakfast of home fries, eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes. My husband has learned how to make everything so he took over while I sat with the kids watching them play with their new stuff having my coffee. It was glorious. We all got to chill all afternoon and I got in a nap before our mothers came over for dinner…marinated flank steak, potato and Mac salad, lasagna, dinner rolls and salad. Cookies for dessert.

So nothing too crazy, I enjoy the run up to Christmas but it can be very exhausting (especially my bank account hah) so I’m really thankful that this year was relatively low key. It made it that much more enjoyable.

What are your traditions for whatever you celebrate this time of year.

Highlights from a year

 Wow well what a year it’s been! Here’s some highlights:

The year started with my husband losing his job, which sucked in the moment but allowed him to start his own business after a summer of studying and test taking and certifications. It also allowed me to realize the importance of being happy in your job, so I changed jobs, not once, but twice. The job that I initially took ended up being a terrible fit for me in all the ways, so I took a leap and left that job. I start my new job in a couple weeks and I’m pretty confident this will be a really good fit, which I knew with the last job that may not be the case but I was willing to try.

We found a new vacation spot that we fell in love with and are working toward the goal of moving there, new state about 5 hours away. It seriously felt like home and there is a need for the business my husband does, so it’s not a completely out of reach goal.

My second daughter will graduate this year, and she has applied to colleges, not in state. This is something that is incredibly hard for me and makes me have all the feels. But she needs to spread her wings and she can’t do that staying here, I need to let her go but MAN is this ever hard. No one prepares you for the letting go.

I reconnected with my older brother whom I haven’t seen since our dad passed away. Immediately we made plans for me to come visit, across the country and way up in a semi-remote mountain town. It was THE BEST visit and hands down the best part of my year. A piece of me that I didn’t know was missing made me feel whole again. He’s 20 years older than me and we got to talk about Dad and I actually got to have some peace and closure on certain aspects of my life, and I finally have someone who actually looks like me and also acts like me (or I act like him, I was always super close with him growing up.) We talk (well text) almost daily since then and it’s been pretty awesome. He also has a lot in common with my husband so they’ve been chatting a lot too and it’s been this really full circle thing.

So it’s been a transition year and a mixed bag but overall things are good. Life is good. We’re all here and healthy and happy and I think the way the world is going, that’s a pretty big deal. Therapy has changed my husbands life, our marriage has never been better. There are many blessings to be found when you stick with someone through the worst of things to get to the other side and experience how good things can be. 2023 is full of travel and promise to be a good year. Here’s hoping.

What was your year like? And if anyone out there is on IG I’d love to follow along with you. My name on there is radmdrtr stop by and say hello! I miss my blogging buddies and I read everything you write, even when I’m not commenting, I’m still there!

Meet my Great-Niece

This is little Pea. She had a hard beginning and spent some time in the Nicu, but she gets to come home this week and I finally get to meet her in person Thursday! She’s the first baby on that side of the family so she’s extra special. A little slice of Heaven on Earth. I have to admit it makes me Wistful, vehklempt. But I’m letting my happiness for my niece and the pride I have in how well she’s done, and I’m just over the moon. Welcome to this crazy world, my little Pea. I can’t wait to be the coolest great-aunt ever!

The New New

 So let’s just pretend it isn’t been months since I last blog and just get right to it.

I resigned from my job of almost 15 years.

Let me back up.

End of January my husband was laid off, out of the blue and quite unceremoniously. After the shock and sadness wore off of him, I convinced him to start his own business and so now he’s running a small operation from home, and once we get the legal stuff taken care of, it will be busier, we’re all pitching in to pass out business cards and wear logo shirts and it’s going to be a real family thing. Thanks to my online shopping skills, I am the purchaser for all the things. 

So fast forward these past few months, I’ve been carefully balancing vacation days with working extra and my overnight hours plus day hours were really starting to burn me out. Slowly I became less happy at work, but thought I was doing what I had to do.

Until about a month ago, when the bosses royally fucked up with a market raise that only some people got, and that I didn’t get. This all happened with it showing up on checks before anyone was ever told everything, mind you. Market raises are firstly supposed to be for everybody with the same credentials, which did not happen here. And I figured out on my own the reason I didn’t get mine was over a bullshit write up I got last July because I wasn’t Coddling to the younger people and someone got offended. The senario that was told never happened and I never got asked my side (although you can bet I gave it) but got written up anyway because this person skipped everybody else and went straight to the top who dumped it in the one person with whom dislikes me and that feeling is mutual. I looked it up and it states that write ups that occur in the 12 months prior to a market raise may be used in determining a raise (or not).

I was at month 11.

Not wanting to cause anyone any stress or upsetness, I didn’t tell anyone. But I started to realize in my head that this place doesn’t value it’s long term employees. I’ve worked steadily through this entire pandemic and continue to do so. My job is in the city. It’s not safe for me to drive to work or walk into the building across the street. It’s not safe inside because of the types of things we deal with and the patients we get every night. And it’s about an hour commute, so I think the gas prices explain that pretty well. And my work life balance was weighing way down on the work side so that’s been hard on all of us.

So. I updated my resume, sent it out, and phone started ringing right away and hasn’t stopped. I have an offer I accepted, and it’s a good one, and it’s half the commute or less, although still taking calls, because I don’t start just yet. Everything aligned with when to put in my notice in and my summer vacation I was already approved for. I’m down to my last 2 weeks here. This all happened in a matter of days.

The healthcare market is in dire straits, as is the whole world right now. I know what my experience is worth, and I demanded it. I went in like a badass version of myself I haven’t felt like in a long while, and I refused to be nervous and intimidated. I was also quite candid which I think may have scored me points because I was real. Like when I was explaining wanting to get out of the inner city hospitals, I said “I don’t want that to be how I die.” Which may sound crazy but it’s true. I’m hyper aware that I am unsafe Everytime I go to work  and that’s sad.

And I got the offer while we were out for our 22nd Wedding Anniversary. So it all seemed so kismet.

The pandemic has taught me a lot, but mostly that life is too damn short to be wasted on things that don’t matter. I have an older brother I was always close to but that I haven’t seen in 14 years. We reconnected (my daughter messaged him since I’m not on fb) and we started texting like no time had passed, and I booked a trip to go see him in mid-September in the wilderness of Idaho (seriously, he has mountain lions on his property) and he’s going to take me flying, teach me to shoot a gun, and go skydiving. He’s almost 20 years older than me, but he’s up for it. This will be a type of trip I’ve never been on before, but I’m excited. Mostly because he’s my big brother and I miss him. And I wonder why it took so long to find each other again.

I may have been complacent, coasting, just surviving there for a long while. But I’ve come to a point where I’m so thankful for my life, every the hard stuff, because I’m no wuss. Money and bills are just paper, and most of that dies when I die anyway. May as well stop wishing and start doing.

I finally feel like me again, and it feels fucking fantastic.