About Me

Decent wife. Good Enough Mom. (I think, but you’d have to ask my kids.) Sporadic blogger. Crazy person. Chaos Manager. Finder of stray socks and missing shoes. Loves to cook, wishes it wasn’t demanded of her daily. Runs on caffeine.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

10 years

It has been 10 years since you passed away, Dad. 10 years. It feels like a lifetime ago, and also like it was just yesterday. I try hard to remember, even though it hurts. I never want to forget your voice. Sometimes I am afraid that if I don’t remember to remember, that I will forget forever. My life is very much the same as it was when you left, but also so vastly different. I lost something when I lost you that I have never been able to get back. I don’t know how I have been able to live without you being here. You were the only one who I ever get truly understood me and always had my back, the only person I ever believed loved me unconditionally. Every single day of my life I notice in some way that you are gone. Sometimes, the memories ore more happy than sad, but when the laughter stops, it’s just the silent reminder that you are gone. I am so glad that you are not suffering or in pain anymore. I wouldn’t ever have wanted that for you. It’s just that I guess I wasn’t done needing you in my life. I don’t feel stronger for what I went through, not at all. I’m not stronger for losing you. You were my rock. Saying I miss you doesn’t begin to cover it. God, Dad, I miss you so much. It still hurts. You were everything to a lot of people, Dad, but especially to me. I love you Dad. 10 years. Oh, my God.

3 comments:

  1. Hugs. Losing a parent changes everything on some level

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  2. I'm really late in commenting, but I'm sorry that it has been 10 years since you lost your Dad.

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  3. I'm late too, but sending love -- anniversaries are so tough, and it sounds like your Dad was amazing and you lost him way too soon. Ten years is a lot to wrap your head around. Thinking of you, and so sorry for this loss.

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